So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
