Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
