I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
