If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
