I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
