like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
farters have to be the big spoon...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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