Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the day after is always just damage control
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
