Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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