My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
