Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So vagazzling was a success
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
