tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
