y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
