Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
