Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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