when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
420 ftw
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
