fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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