a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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