And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
