wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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