Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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