When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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