Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
