drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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