We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
