ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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