please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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