i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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