You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
