You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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