omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
