Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
