I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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