Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he puts the penis in happiness.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
