I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
