I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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