Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
