and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize