Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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