What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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