YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
