Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
