I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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