Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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