When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
