dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
