so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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