I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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