Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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