he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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