You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
