I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
