I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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