respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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