girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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