i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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