you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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