she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
