Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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