im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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