How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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